Elijah Meeks
From SomefinkWiki
Pronounced MEEEEEEEEKKS!!
Elijah Meeks is what some might call a Renaissance Man, except he lives in present times, and is not necessarily a man. A vessel of considerable wit and of even more intellect, he is a sort of heterogeneous Carrot Top/Kevorkian mix, with none of the pleasant traits. One will find with mention of Elijah that buckets of rumors rampantly circulate, but only anatomical snuffboxes of truth are interspersed within.
Reportedly considers himself to be the one and only authority on any subject or information that might be published or discussed in a wiki or any other kind of written or spoken or imagined word.
Is a fierce and outspoken opponent of Free Speech.
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Executive Summary
Basic reading and writing skills. Cannot carry a movie on his own. Underweight. The Captain Ahab of wasted time. Allegedly the inspiration for Renoir's "Unwashed masses."
Land aquisitions
Elijah currently owns half of Mariposa, California, and is attempting to pass a binding resolution declaring himself official Swami of said locality. Rumor also has it that he is heavily invested in Oregon timberland and Maine coastline. He apparently also has a small shack in Fresno.
Memoirs of a Geriatric
Mr. Meeks is seemingly infatuated with the OV-10 Bronco. He will go to any measure to secure one for his Mariposa compound, even if it means starting a junta or twenty in the South American highlands. He's a bit like the CIA in that. All attempts have thus far been bootyless, though blame has been placed squarely on the shoulders of one Michael Dorosh.
Anabaptism: The controversy, the lifestyle.
Elijah meeks is an esteemed Anabaptist. Though these accusations have been gainsaid at every place of their mention, no one can be expected to believe that he is truly not. His choice of religious affiliation may explain his irrational fear of Puritans. This set of ethics to which he adheres forces him to a hermit-ish lifestlye, one spent harassing college age Asian women. Anabaptism is generally known for its extensive knowledge of breads, and Mr. Meeks has taken to bread with a passion. His favorite are the artesian breads.
These Anabaptists sure know their "family values"!
Location: Unknown
After his flight from the Peng Challenge Thread, Elijah Meeks has rarely been seen in person, instead flitting about the electronic ether gathering a following of hippies that revel in the light of his acknowledgement but skitter to the darkness when he brusquely critiques their grammar and useage. He was last physically seen running semi-naked through fifteen hectares of suburban Providence. He has also been confused for the "Nelly" in the Brazos River, a description possibly more accurate than intended.
Occupation
No one is sure what an Xconq is, but it owns Meeks heart, soul, and lymphatic system. Moonlights as a Wikifacist.
Runs around accusing others of being lazy.
Skin Diseases
Oh. My. Too many to name, but none half so good as this.
Cooking
Strictly Vegan. No Chop Suey, not even tofu Lasagna because it might look like the real thing.
Dark Secrets
It must be noted that his name (which has never been verified by birth certificate or other official document) is an anagram of "HE JAILS [the] MEEK". It is not clear yet who (or what) is meant by that, but many authors believe it is scarcely a coincidence Meeks was born at about the same time when J.Edgar Hoover died.
He's never been wrong before (but, there's always a first time).
This is not a Meeks
but you can click the thumbnail
