General Electric

From SomefinkWiki

Originally formed as a very small company named Specific Electric, it's had a pretty good run. Now, it's the biggest corporation in the history of the world. Recently merged with itself to double its size. They own you. Your tinfoil hat? They own that too. And you know that medicine you take to get the voices out of your head? Well, General Electric owns those voices. Today, General Electric owns 80% of the non oil-related world, including NBC, the Vatican, DoSomefink.com and stoat.

Hardly anyone knows that the majority shareholder of General Electric is the Pope. But it's true, and it doesn't figure. Why does God need locomotives? Can't he make the train roll from point A to point B by sheer willpower? Does God really need the dividend? Can't he make a huge pile of money appear out of thin air (by sheer willpower)? Is it just because GE owns the Tinfoil Hats? Hmmm?

General Electric makes Turbine Engines, Locomotives and Miniguns. It has been banned from making beer to keep it from taking over the world.

Known as Generous Electric to many of its current and former employees, especially the fat cat lazy union types like a certain Gyrene.

Dress codes at GE are less strict than you might think, especially on Fridays. Critics say this is because GE employees usually can't afford more clothing

Connection to the 9/11 conspiracy

According to Heather Higgis, a recently deceased (!) employee of the NY Department of Public Records, GE moved its NY headquarters from the World Trade Center to another location in downtown Manhattan two years before September 11, 2001. Today, all traces of this move have disappeared from the public archives.