Lord Putin
From SomefinkWiki
Emperor of the Russia, the keys to which he took from the dismembered corpse of Obi Wan Keboozie.
Contents |
Baseless allegations
Reported by untrustworthy and reactionary forces as "Evil, stubby, and known for eating the occasional kitten".
The Truth
According to friends, Putin is really a warm and caring person, with a huge heart, a sense of humour and even a secret longing for romance. It's just that the political circumstances in today's Russia force him to have all potential enemies committed to insane asylums, or shot by the secret police.
Media policy
Putin's latest contribution to democracy in Russia was decreeing a law requiring all Russian media to only report the truth, and nothing but the truth. This measure met with generally positive reactions from the Russian media.
Foreign relations
Like everything else, relations with foreign governments have greatly improved under Putin's rule. This is mostly due to his visionary energy policy, according to which foreign governments can receive free energy from Russia, with "absolutely no strings attached". Under the Kilowatts Grant Bonus program, even private citizens of foreign countries are eligible to receive small amounts of fissionable material delievered directly to their teapots, or other household appliances requiring an energy source.
This is not a Putin
