Mi-24 Hind

From SomefinkWiki

Soviet General Purpose Helicopter. Prototype was created in 1976 by feeding a common household attack helicopter after midnight. Won the Oms k Aircraft Aesthetics Award fifteen times in a row. The Mi-24 ended the sports career of Rocky Balboa in 1987. If the Soviets had sent a single one to Afghanistan, they would have won, hands down. The Mi-24 is mostly responsible for the sudden extinction of the dinosaur in the late eighties.

Length: 87.51m

Max. take-off weight: 145.946kg

Crew: you can fly and your girlfriend can fire the missiles, or vice-versa

Carrying capacity: 8 troops, or a hot babe and a Volvo P1800 E.

1 Avionics
2 Armament
3 Operational Tactics
4 This is not a Hind

Avionics

Thermal Sight
IFF Transponder
Crowbar
Directional Motion Scanner
Steroids
Holoduke

Armament

OAT Automissile Pod
Flamethrower
Scattergun
Grenades
Acid Spit
Mining Laser
Electric Can-opener
BFG 2000
Crowbar

Operational Tactics

The Hind is capable of subsonic, supersonic and hypersonic flight, even underwater. It can fly backwards in time and turn on a dime. Keeping in tradition with Russian armament philosophy, it has only a single button for flight control and another one for weapons release.