Pope
From SomefinkWiki
Wears a big hat to hide his Nazi tattoos and The Dark Mark of Scientology. Prefers cheap Swedish furniture but believes in Feng Shui. Actually believes in almost anything, and is very good at that. Resides at the very center of Popeopolis.
Contents |
Executive Summary
The Raymond Chandler of practical philosophy.
Going Rates
The Pope costs 219 €/hour during prime season (Mar 21 - August 21), 59 €/hour in low season (all other times). Advanced booking: call 1-800-SALVATION or go to www.vatican.com. Sorry, no credit cards.
If you think that this kind of money is outrageous, remember that the pope owns the majority share of General Electric. He doesn't actually need your 219 Euros. He could do the whole show for free, if he wanted to. Wouldn't make a difference. He just asks that much to scare away the have-nots and the unwashed masses.
Theology
Since the First Vatican Council, the Pope is infallible in all matters of theology, doctrine, morals, economy, history, politics, science and fashion. Since then, modern theologists disgree whether phenomena exist because the Pope believes in them or the Pope believes in them because they exist.
Fashion
Wearing, blood-red Gucci shoes and handbags and long, high-cut white dresses, lovingly ornamented, the Pope wouldn't stand out at an Oscar(TM) awards ceremony.
Cooking
The Pope is known for his kickass Lasagna orgies. He has no idea about Chop Suey, though. The question of whether the Pope is infallible in matters of Chinese cooking is a hot topic among modern theologists.
This is not a Pope
