Sigmund Freud
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Sigmund Freud (1856-1939) is known as the founder of modern Psychanylysys, which he invented rather by accident one evening when all the proper vocals on his typewriter were stuck.
According to Freud's 1913 book, "The Biggest Breakthrough in Science EVER", most people spend most of their time thinking mostly about either pop music, poop, money, sex with their parents, gardening or horse racing. The book sold a moderate number of copies in local bookshops but disappeared from shelves when World War One broke out half a year later.
Freud worked on his theory and in 1921, he published an illustrated Special Edition of the book under the title "You Disgusting Pig!", in which he reduced the number of predominant objects of thought to only two: poop and sex with parents.
The book became an instant bestseller and caused a large number (millions, according to some sources) of readers to claim that they actually hate their parents and, in all practical terms, never defecate. These two claims were so widespread that they resulted in the upspring of an entire industry of psychanylysts, therapists who convince people that they are absolutely right about their parents, but that this other thing is nothing to worry about, as long as you don't talk about it and wipe your private parts regularly.
In 1925, Freud was challenged to a pissing contest by his rival C.G. Jung. Freud was in the lead in the first round with 13'2" to Jung's 7'5", when he suddenly suffered a massive stroke. He was disqualified by the judges, and was subsequently forced to retire from professional life. He died in 1939 in Vienna, apparently from an overdose of wheat bran.
Modern Relevance
Among his many followers are such noted figured as J. Edgar Hoover, who kept a copy of Freud's book in his 600 sq.ft private bathroom in the FBI headquarters building, and Henry Kissinger, who still uses Freud's techniques to blackmail foreign diplomats by threatening to expose them as parent-lovers or anal-obsessive weirdos.
Criticism and Controversy
Freud's work, important for modern science as it is, is not without faults. Some scientists note that he sold the movie rights to his book for only $150 (which was later made into a very successful movie starring Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman, but with a substantially altered plot), while others criticize him for his longwinded prose, no character development and generally being a bore.
